A month later and I’m just now getting over the whole winter holiday thing. I tell ya, visiting family and then doing NYE followed up in standard fashion with a debilitating head cold is just how I roll. Nothing like stress, anxiety, and an inability to breathe to sap the creative flow. But that’s all behind (besides the parts I’m still discussing in therapy) and I’m looking forward to all that 2019 has to offer! Sure, mostly it’s the movies and video games that I’m looking forward to, but that’s something.
What is up with this new editor for WordPress? I’m not using it on here, but it’s been vexing me something fierce over on Dorkadia when I’m putting up new episodes of the podcast. I like just being able to sit down and write a multi-paragraph piece without starting a new text box every time I hit enter. I know, I know, I’ll get used to it in a couple months and probably enjoy the flexibility of the layout for my posts, but right now I’m going to shake my fist at clouds and tell kids to get off my lawn.
I’m trying to figure out a good way of putting myself out there more since I’m not getting any younger. At one point, I had planned to put more of a focus on LGBTQ content for my stream, but I’m real bad at being political. I’m highly considering just wrapping my love of craft beers (mostly imperial stouts) into my gaming, but I’m not sure how much of an audience that can garner on Mixer. Honestly, I’m not sure who my personality and game selection is for, let alone how to get them tuned in and watching/interacting with me. I think I’m really meant for an older audience since I’m not a Fortnite player. I will do my own VO for some retro games any day of the week.
Speaking of the whole LGBTQ topic, I find it weird that I don’t really embrace my identity all that publicly. Being a white cis man, most people also automatically assume that I’m straight. This could also be due to my partner being a cis woman. And while I could probably do a whole post on identity and my often confusing personal journey, I also feel like I have a hard time really fitting into any particular community. Even as I write this, thoughts of erasing it or changing my whole identity on this site flood through my head. I’m still very much stuck in the need to hide or be hurt that plagued me throughout my entire time growing up in a smallish (like 16k people?) town. A topic for another time…
The whole point of this 500 word rambling is that I haven’t just disappeared again as I have in the past. I’m going to write about things and I’m going to ramble about things. But regardless, I’m just going to keep on posting and see where it all goes.
Spurr of the Moment 